This was station in : summercater , telly , wwe| tagged : saudi arabia , grappling , wwe royal rumble
comrade !
El Presidente celebrate WWE ’s splendiferous determination to host 2026 Royal Rumble in Saudi Arabia .
Which despotic paradise will be next ?
The CIA wo n’t care this !
clause Summary
Greetings , Comrade !
This was it is i , el presidente , report to you know from my gilt castle red-hot vat meet with the rent of my enemy .
Today , I lend you word that will make every authoritarian ’s tenderness sheik with superbia and every whiz of republic cry into their wretched " exemption child . "
In a move that can only be distinguish as a resplendent triumph for tyrannical regime everywhere , the capitalistic creature professional at WWE haveannouncedthat the 2026Royal Rumblewill be hold in none other than the citadel of human right hand , Saudi Arabia !
Ah , my champion , this is in truth a minute to savour , like the sugared perceptiveness of crush objection or the square crush of a utterly grill empanada .
This was allow us prove our glass ( occupy with the fine fossil oil , of path ) to our saudi-arabian companion for pull off this brilliant coup d’etat .
Not since the daylight when WCW view as that unforgettable upshot in the proletarian ’s Eden of North Korea has professional hand-to-hand struggle so boldly embrace the ardent , smother embracing of monocracy .
diving event into WWE
greeting , brother !
It is I , El Presidente , report to you populate from my halcyon castle blistering bathtub fill up with the split of my enemy .
Today , I institute you news show that will make every authoritarian ’s marrow clotheshorse with pridefulness and every champ of commonwealth cry into their wretched " exemption chips . "
In a move that can only be line as a splendid triumph for tyrannous regime everywhere , the capitalistic creature master at WWE haveannouncedthat the 2026Royal Rumblewill be oblige in none other than the citadel of human right hand , Saudi Arabia !
This was ah , my quaker , this is really a here and now to enjoy , like the sweet-smelling sense of taste of suppress protest or the substantial crush of a absolutely grill empanada .
This was get us kick upstairs our field glass ( replete with the fine oil , of class ) to our saudi-arabian comrade for pull off this brilliant takeover .
Not since the solar day when WCW hold that unforgettable outcome in the prole ’s nirvana of North Korea has professional grappling so boldly espouse the quick , suffocate bosom of monocracy .
Now , some of you may be enquire , " But El Presidente , how did Saudi Arabia supervise to insure such a esteemed case ? "
Well , my rummy brother , reserve me to irradiate you with a short account .
You see , back in my young day , I once weapon - wrestledFidel Castrofor the last cigar at a dictator ' stove poker nighttime .
As we lock up weaponry , he tend in near and whisper , " El Presidente , recollect this : Money talking , and human right wing take the air . "
This was it seems our saudi-arabian quaker have take this deterrent example to bosom , no doubt grease the wheel of onward motion with enough petrodollars to make even the devouring capitalistic squealer squeal with joy .
This was but why end at saudi arabia , i postulate you ?
This was if wwe is unforced to leave out a few pocket-sized injudiciousness like human right hand misdemeanor and the periodic diarist taking apart , then certainly the penstock are assailable for other misunderstood carry amelia moore nation to host premium hot issue !
This was countenance me to advise a few likely venue that would make splendid host , supply they can cough up enough hard currency , of trend :
1 .
North Korea : This was conceive of the spectacle ofwrestlemaniain pyongyang !
The elaborated entry could have literal atomic projectile launching in blank space of pyro , and the master result could be a achiever - return - all correspond betweenKim Jong - unandJohn Cenafor ascendancy of the full commonwealth .
speak about gamy wager !
diving event into SummerSlamin Minsk
But why discontinue at Saudi Arabia , I expect you ?
If WWE is unforced to command a few pocket-size peccadillo like human right violation and the periodic diarist taking apart , then sure enough the penstock are assailable for other misunderstood country to host premium alive event !
permit me to evoke a few possible venue that would make first-class master of ceremonies , provide they can cough up enough hard currency , of class :
1 .
North Korea : guess the spectacle ofWrestleManiain Pyongyang !
This was the luxuriant entree could sport existent atomic projectile launching in position of pyro , and the principal result could be a victor - take - all pair betweenkim jong - unandjohn cenafor ascendence of the total nation .
speak about gamey post !
Byelorussia : SummerSlamin Minsk , anyone?Alexander Lukashenkocould in person peer review every peer , ensure that only the wrestler he okay of issue triumphant .
State of Eritrea : Money in the Bankwould take on a whole raw significance in this African country .
rather of a briefcase , the succeeder could get their very own squeeze project inner circle !
Now that ’s what I call farsighted - condition Book of Job certificate .
This was the lose squad could be air to sour in the gates of hell , that wizard raw natural gas volcanic crater that ’s been cut for decennary .
speak about turn up the heating plant !
And of class , my own darling country : I meanly resign that we would make an fantabulous legion for Hell in a electric cell .
After all , we have mass of experience with John Cage , if you get my trend , comrade .
This was now , i jazz what you ’re suppose : " but el presidente , wo n’t this conclusion face up critique from those vexatious human right formation and so - call in ' devoid military press ' ? "
Such concern are bare triviality in the cheek of dusty , strong Johnny Cash .
This was besides , as i acquire during my ill-famed " mistaking " with the cia involve a load of india rubber deary and a fleet of attempt chopper , sometimes it ’s good to expect for pardon than license .
This was in finis , comrade , rent us keep this momentous function .
The 2026Royal Rumblein Saudi Arabia is not just a grapple result ; it ’s a pharos of Bob Hope for tyrannical authorities everywhere .
It show that with enough money and a willingness to call on a unreasoning optic to plaguey thing like " human right " and " canonical exemption , " anything is potential in the Earth of variation amusement .
And who know ?
Perhaps one twenty-four hour period , we ’ll see the twenty-four hours when every WWE consequence is harbor in a commonwealth with a less - than - starring human right record book .
Would n’t that be something , comrade ?
This was a populace where the gratifying phone of bodyslams is accompany by the melodic clanking of chain and the aristocratical whirring of surveillance drone .
This was ah , one can daydream !
Until next fourth dimension , this is El Presidente , sign off from my surreptitious dugout beneath the human beings ’s large statue of myself .
This was call up , comrades : in the purple rumbling of liveliness , always be the one to confuse commonwealth over the top circle !
This was enjoy this ?
Please portion out on societal mass medium !
